Reply to I told my friend about the business I’m starting and she crapped all over it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Give her some grace. She regrets it and she’s trying to apologize. Your feelings are hurt, and I get that. Mine would be, too. But this is forgivable, especially because she’s trying. Now go prove her wrong![/quote]

Op here. I’m not going to end the friendship but I definitely need some time and space. We’d ordinarily talk/text/or see each other several days a week, but I need at least a few weeks off.

The thing is, I don’t need to prove her wrong. Like just even having that thought tells me [b]this is not the right kind of friendship for me. My friend should be rooting for me[/b]. [/quote]

The bolded is wrong. She IS rooting for you. She's just worried for the risk you're taking, and a little ignorant about the particular details. You sound immature to not realize that. My friend just told me she's dating a new guy, and he has a kid and a record for domestic violence. I told her to run. Would she say I'm "not rooting for her"? No. She knows I don't want her to get beaten up! [/quote]

In these situations, tone is everything.

When you weight in on a friend's life, you need to remember that your friend is free to do whatever they want no matter what you say. When I'm worried about a friend, I try to just ask questions, not give advice. I think it's way less intrusive to say something like "how do you feel about his history? do you feel safe with him?" than to say "you need to break up with him, it's stupid that you are getting involved with him." She's an adult. She has to make these choices herself.

Likewise, regarding OP, if the friend was worried about the viability of the business, she could have just asked something like "how are you feeling about the financial risk? do you feel comfortable with it?" or "how are you guys handling XYZ? I might have some ideas, would you be interested in hearing them?" This gives OP the chance to reach out if she needs help but also gives space for her to say "no, we're good." And then the friend stops. No one is interested in a friend who is second guessing everything they do. [/quote]

Op here. This is a big part of it. She asked ZERO questions. No curiosity. I had barely one minute of air time sharing with her about this new project before she launched into her diatribe picking it apart. She went on for 15+ minutes. This all happened yesterday when we went on a walk together and I was just sharing a tiny bit about what’s going on with me.[/quote]

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