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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find when there are issues where you both have good judgement, it makes sense for one of you to take the lead and the other to back off a bit. It is a partnership. There are enough other issues to worry about.

That said, I would only relax if he can really be trusted on this stuff.[/quote]

+1. And if you have a high stress job, won’t you be relieved to have this off your plate?[/quote]

Yes, I’m open to it, it’s just hard for a type A like me to give up control, and I just want to gage if it is normal and reasonable to do so. Thank you for your reply.

He does sometimes do things in a different way than I would, which can freak me out, but after 10 years I have enough evidence to see that his decisions are very sound.

[/quote]

Reading between the lines here, you’re clearly a controlling PITA who thinks you’re superior to your husband because you make more money than him, and while you say you trust him you really don’t.  You’re never going to let go, ever, so stop pretending.  Just keep fighting with your husband about money and continue to make him feel inadequate.  That’s the game you’re playing. [/quote]

Ouch!

I can be controlling, and I do want to work on that. The root is anxiety, not that I think I am superior to him, which I DO NOT think at all.  FWIW, he is objectively much smarter than I am, and any outsider would agree.

He is more laid back, whereas I am a super optimizer. My anxiety tells me that if I am not a hyper vigilant super optimizer, everything will go to shit. I know rationally that is not true.

I do think my fighting with him does make him feel that I don’t trust and him and could make him feel inadequate, and I want to change that. Hence this post. [/quote]

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