Reply to How should I deal with emotionally dismissive parents?

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[quote=Anonymous]I didn't read all the comments here but I can somewhat relate. My parents are emotionally supportive at a surface level, and if I asked them to help me they would.

But in terms of things like childhood trauma, which I experienced and which was caused by their negligence in parenting (or lack thereof in this case), they have taken a stance of mis-remembering, blocking, and blaming nonsensical things. My mom, who loves being a victim, told me once that I have never experienced trauma and told me this in the context of saying she had. It was the most hurtful thing she's ever said to me.

They are not very empathetic, and can be mean (not really to me, but to others because they are very judgmental and stuck in black and white thinking).

The way that I deal with it is to keep our relationship in a safe zone. I recognize the deficits, avoid the slippery slopes and triggers, and just have a relationship that is a bit more shallow. It's not great but it's fine and my DH supports me through it. [/quote]

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