Reply to Unable to balance family

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Unable to balance family"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]A couple of thoughts.

1. If you're really married, the house being "in your name" probably doesn't matter.
2. Your description makes him sound much more immature than you, but you glossed over his full-time job to focus on the band.  He may tell a different story where he has two jobs and you only have one, but you're constantly complaining about the second one because it's not lucrative enough.
3. You need couple's counseling to deal with the drinking, name-calling, and scorekeeping.
4. But if you want to be married to this person, don't jump to divorce with a brand-new baby.  My husband was an absolute gold-standard new dad/husband and I still thought about divorce during this period, because sleep deprivation and hormones are not going to let you be great.
5.  You deserve me time, absolutely.  But you should probably try to get your friends to come to you for pizza and wine, not go clubbing on party nights.  Don't saddle your kid with two parents competing to see who gets to spend the most time drunk.
6.  Agree with PP that to the extent he's going to bars to play in his band, you can't hold that against him as "he gets more fun time than me" -- I say this particularly since you said he expects you to get a babysitter and come as your date night.  That jumped out at me as "at least he doesn't appear to be using gigs to cheat on you."

Neither of you is handling this transition particularly well, but that's not unique.  It's a very hard time.  I would have a conversation with him that is just about how you're afraid he's making unsafe/dangerous choices around drinking.  You can also establish that the night after a gig is your "night out" if it's important to you to get out of the house, but I really think you should focus on restructuring your fun time around what's going to work longer term - whether your married or doing the single mother thing you're not going to be at clubs all night anymore, unless you're aiming for some kind of Jerry Springer audition by your late 30s.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics