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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been using dating apps for TEN YEARS. First Okcupid, then Bumble, and now Hinge. 
Throughout my life, including the years before online dating, I’ve only had boyfriends every four years. 2012-2013, 2016, 2020.

My online dating cycle goes exactly like this:
Swipe through 100+ guys who liked me. Match with about 25 of them. Respond to about 10 of them. Carry on conversations with 5 or 6. Go on dates with 3. 
One date will be horrible. I’ll trek all the way from Maryland to Virginia in awful weather to meet a guy who is completely boring, or creepy, or incorrigibly awkward. 
Another date will be reasonably fun. Carry on a good conversation but not much physical attraction. 
Another date will be both attractive to me and fun, good conversation, and things seem great. The guys says he’s interested in a second date but never asks me. 
I go on a second date with the guy who was reasonably fun, but not that physically attractive to me, thinking that if I give him a chance, there will be something about him that will ignite a spark. It doesn’t. He either senses that I’m not interested and doesn’t pursue anything further, or we go on a third date and I have to end it before it goes anywhere physical because I’m still not feeling it.

Get disillusioned with online dating and give up. Two weeks later, repeat the process. Or maybe I’ll reach back to one of the other matches, giving them a second look, but it’s usually too late.

As I said, I’ve only been in three relationships, one every four years. And they all fizzled out after about six months due to lifestyle differences or jobs.

The one upside is that even in my 30s, I haven’t seen a decline in quantity or quality of matches from when I first started. Maybe fewer obvious creeps. I’ve broadened my horizons to consider men into their 50s, divorced men with children, men without college degrees, and I’ve long since stopped caring about height and I never cared about race. And it’s 2024, so by that rule of my life I’m due to find a boyfriend this year, so…who knows.

For what it’s worth, I’m slender, I have long natural hair, I’m fiscally responsible/financially independent but not career-obsessed, I’m feminine in the ways that it matters, very low body count if that’s important, I think I have plenty to bring to the table in a relationship, but I’m perhaps too jaded and guarded to let loose and be flirty and feel sexy around strangers. [/quote]

I think you are totally normal. And to be honest you seem like a nice woman most men will be happy to meet.

Here is the problem with the Apps, in my opinion. The Left/Right swiping is a major flaw I think. People have the illusion of endless options. But in reality they are just in a loop. And then the fact that women are drivers of these Apps is also a big issue. These women’s who get inflated because they have so many matches. In the meantime you have good guys who barely get a single match in a month. Hopefully better App will arrive. Those men who barely get likes should be made for visible to widen the choices for women and men. And this way women won’t have to compete with other women as well for the same set of guys. You say you are open to all races and that’s great. But do you get matches mostly from one set of race? [/quote]

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