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[quote=Anonymous]Oh my sister is very similar to this, OP. She just seems to hate all of us and doesn't like how we act or communicate and she "sets boundaries" by just never seeing us or refusing to speak to us when we do see her.

I actually agree with her that boundaries are important, I just don't think you need to constantly tell people "I am setting this boundary with you because you are too XYZ." Just hold your boundary. I stopped flying home for Christmas many years ago because my family is kind of crazy around Christmas and I had a series of like five Christmases in a row where I'd visit and then they'd try to draw me into a bunch of family drama and it was miserable, and one year I just decided I couldn't make it. And that year was great and now I haven't spent Christmas there in 15 years and no one demands it of me and I still have a functional relationship with them and it's fine. I just found my boundary and held it and it worked out. I didn't go around telling ever individual family member what is wrong with them and how they needed to change in order for me to be willing to come home for Christmas, because boundaries are about making choices for yourself, not trying to impose your choices on others.[/quote]

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