Reply to why do so many people think all kids are easy / as easy as theirs?!

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "why do so many people think all kids are easy / as easy as theirs?!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you have some good points but it’s not as black and white as you are implying. Yes, every parent is trying their best, but some strategies are just not as effective and every parent has blind spots. I would absolutely rather be alerted to my blind spot than continue to struggle. So, I could turn your same question around and say, why are some parents so insecure and defensive that they assume that feedback is an attack on their parenting?

The best athletes in the world have multiple coaches and specialists who critique their performance every day. Authors have editors. Etc. Nobody is nailing it just through sheer effort, we all benefit from a feedback loop.

I don’t think the ugliness or mean tones are justified but I also don’t believe that every single kid who acts out is simply hopeless and just a harder kid. I’ve seen parents in real life who unknowingly cause or worsen their kids issues, despite the best of intentions![/quote]

Actually, I think the point is that not all parents have to give equal effort. Compliant/easy children are very forgiving in terms of parenting styles and techniques. Most will work decently with these kids. The more difficult kids are extremely unforgiving of different parenting techniques. Parents have to find the exact right one and be disciplined enough to be consistent 100% of the time. It is just not the same level of effort. [/quote]

This. The problem on DCUM is that [b]people with easy kids who don't have to work very hard at it [/b]will respond to threads posted by parents who are genuinely struggling and who want feedback and advice, who know that what they are doing isn't working and would like a gut check or a different perspective.

But too often the offered perspective is "just do X" because that's what people with easy kids do and it works, and they don't understand that the OP in those threads not only has already tried that, but also probably 6 other things, and consulted their pediatrician and talked to the teacher and read three books on the subject.

Some kids are just hard.[/quote]

Who are these people? Pretty much every parent I know is working their a** off, even those with so-called “easy” kids. Parents of good, well behaved kids are probably working quite hard at it.[/quote]

I was at my oldest’s soccer practice the other day and a mom sat next to me with her 2 and 4 year old calmly doing sticker books on a blanket the entire hour! Just sitting there happily! If I’d had my 2 and 4yo there it would have been hard work the whole time trying to keep them off the field, occupied with anything for more than 3 minutes etc etc.  No amount of planning, good parenting, preparation, reward charts etc would make my kids do what those kids did.

I’m sure that parent is working hard in lots of ways, there’s endless things to worry about when parenting, but there are easy kids out there and I don’t have them.[/quote]

I think often people who have sticker book children are oblivious to those of us whose children need significantly more activity/stimulation/less sleep than theirs. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics