Reply to Anybody not want kids but have them anyway? (TTC and unsure)

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[quote=Anonymous]The thing is, if you decide to have children, you have to OWN THE DECISION.  You cannot, under any circumstances, fall into the habit of blaming your spouse for pressuring you to do it. Because there are so many things about parenthood that are challenging--over and over again--that the opportunity to play the victim, suffer, and blame might overwhelm the other reality: that being a parent is one of the most amazing things you might every experience.  If you LET YOURSELF experience it.

Also, you have no idea what kind of child you'll have.  An easy temperament?  A high-needs child?  A child with cognitive challenges or physical ones?  A child whose personality doesn't mirror yours (you might get an extrovert!) or who mirrors yours so closely that it makes you crazy.  To get through all that, you have to acknowledge that your child needs you, and needs you to love him or her and to be the best parent you can no matter what.

So even if you're not sure you want children now, you have to be pretty sure that you and your husband are a team in this endeavor.  Yeah, you might luck out and fall head over heels in love your parenting and your  child, but then again...  so you have to feel confident that you have the mature mentality that you will be able to pull your sh!t together and do the right thing (or else get help).

That's my opinion.  :)  [/quote]

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