Reply to Anybody not want kids but have them anyway? (TTC and unsure)

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I very much wanted kids and so did DH. Our DD is the light of my life. That said, she had colic and I nearly went insane from PPD. The first 4 months were PURE. HELL. Our marriage suffered a lot. I can hardly remember chunks of those months and am getting some help for PTSD because of it.

Even now that she's outgrown the colic and she's older (15 months), our lives are so drastically different. Sex goes bye-bye unless you really work at it (you're so tired all the time and "touched out" from baby that it feels like "work", too). You don't get to be first in your life anymore, your kid is always first -- even though that's normally natural and good feeling, sometimes you will really resent it (not resent your kid, but resent your life). You don't get to say "oh this weekend we'll do x, y, and z" it'll become "well, if DC isn't fussy we'll do x and maybe y if we can find someone to watch DC" and then DC will come down with a cold and you can't put him down without him screaming his head off and then you get nothing done and you're more tired on Monday than you were before the weekend. You won't get to sleep in to catch up on rest -- you will just get used to way less sleep and always feeling sub-par. Your career will suffer, you will feel guilt over every choice.

Sorry, I love DD more than anything, but if I wasn't committed to having kids to begin with, I would regret being a parent. Depending on the type of kid you get, it is just too much work to go into if you're ambivalent. [/quote]

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