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[quote=Anonymous]I did this in two parts and two ways.
First , before I really understood my mom was sliding into dementia I went out there (she lived on the west coast) and saw how much more cluttered her home was after Covid. I hired a dumpster abd spent a week tossing items. Took a ton to Salvation Army. Meanwhile I hired an organizer to help with her office etc because she was so overwhelmed with paperwork and that task really distracted her from the junk I tossed (like 100 gross sticky Tupperware’s, 25 year old party supplies etc). I did this in part because she had fallen and I told her all the stuff she had everywhere was unsafe and a tripping hazard (she agreed I could organize/rearrange for this reason).

Over that year I realized her issues were really cognitive, she got in several minor accidents , and even with a more organized home and help she wasn’t keeping up with bills, maintaining things (and I also began to discover just  how much money she had lost to scammers). She agreed to move closer to me so I went out again and hired an estate company that handled everything, sold and donated and trashed. I went through the stuff with them and kept. Few boxes of things but the rest went away. It was hard letting go of things she had inherited , from Asian antiquities to the incredible handmade Italian lace tablecloths from 1900 and lots of art (we sold a few pieces at auction) but what am I going to do with it all? I kept a few small things as did my brother…We netted enough money to pay for the move. The only thing I regret is not having more time to deal with the art. One piece went to auction with a 1000-1500 estimate and sold for 19k which makes m me wonder about the pieces we sold at the estate sale for 200$ but hopefully they will have a good life in a new home.

Looking back I think she agreed to this all because she was losing her cognitive skills and started becoming really passive. Most older people become more difficult so I am grateful she was relatively open. I will say that she was completely unable to make any decisions whatsoever (even clothes to bring for the first weeks), which was part of her decline. With some older folks it’s just far too overwhelming to even contemplate so either you do it now or you di it when they move to assisted living , have a crisis or die.
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