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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Moms often complain that their work is never done, that they have to carry the mental load, and that they often feel guilt that some area of their responsibility is being neglected.  For most of them, I don’t think that beating themselves up for not initiating more is high on their lists of favorite guilt trips.

Ladies, your platonic roommate marriages are just so close to the breaking point, if you only knew.  It may take some other precipitating situation to push him over the edge, but your clear-eyed husband will see that walking away from a roommate situation is not like giving up on a real marriage.[/quote]

I would say that every time a married woman initiates it’s because she feels guilty and/or is trying to be a good wife.

I have been reading a little about responsive desire in women, and it’s seemed obvious to me.  What I didn’t understand until I thought about it is that men never think about sex this way.

DH never initiates sex unless he is already turned on.  I know that I’m not going to be turned on until 13.5 minutes into foreplay, so I initiate out of something like guilt or a desire to be a good wife.

I think that’s why men sometimes turn down their wives when they suggest something.  The men aren’t turned on right then in that moment, and they don’t think about sex in terms of trying to be a good and giving partner.    I think this is why it’s kind of painful to be turned down as a married woman.

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