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[quote=Anonymous]I’ve been where you are. It is agonizing. It feels like there are no good options. Constant second guessing. I actually enrolled my loved one in hospice, then disenrolled them to pursue treatment. I was not ready for hospice even thought the evidence was there. Finally enrolled in hospice again when it became clear the hospital/rehab was doing much more harm than good (Haldol, IVs, treatments, strange place, needing 1:1 care because rehab is not a secure place, etc).

Spent time thinking about what the loved one would have wanted and what I would want if in a similar state. I knew they didn’t want IVs, CPR, etc but what about IV antibiotics or more gray treatment areas? I realized there would be no “happy choice” and the best option was a peaceful death with minimal intervention. I found a hospice I loved that really helped me realize I had done all I could.

Loved one was able to pass peacefully at Stage 7 (stopped being able to swallow). It still was awful but the hospice helped ensure that there was no pain or agitation (which had not been the case in the previous months, loved one probably was in constant pain but couldn’t communicate — only the hospice realized it).

You are doing the best you can in an impossible situation. Death can be messy and it sucks. [/quote]

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