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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here- I read text because I wondered how she was telling my brother about their visit and the independent living places we toured.  I did want to see what they were saying about me. I confess to that. 
  A year ago, I helped her set up Uber and a text from my brother popped up while I was setting it up- critism of me- I was really caught off guard.  So I could see text string  she had sent to him first and it was asking him to weigh in on something about me.  I was hurt but I know they favor him. They have him the executor of their estate- the power of attorney - etc. I accepted that as old school thinking about a son. Although we are equally accomplished professionally and personally.
  But some other comments from him are entirely dismissive of me- and just unnecessary. So it is a sensitive issue. So I did want to see how she discussed this visit.
  I’m literally helping them to tour retirement places-  hosting them as we usually do for every holiday-  he of course had only asked/ invited them for Xmas but once in 25 years.
 So just hurts my feelings- but in more mature aspect, that’s not a situation I want- to help guide them and do the heavy lifting while my brother has critical analysis of everything I do based on her asking for his opinion!  [/quote]

But what did these texts actually say? As others have asked- are they talking about you or are they insulting you? There is a difference.  I get that both can be hurtful.  But one is a type of hurt that they are wrong for, and the other is a hurt you inflicted on yourself by snooping…[/quote]

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