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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn’t do it unless it was equal amounts. Someone will find out and feel less loved no matter the situation. [/quote]

This. Your not the generous loving aunt if you set off a bomb in a family system and create dysfunction. What you see if is a snapshot in time of their financial circumstances. It can change quickly and you don't know if the well off ones were more thrifty and made more sacrifices too. Even if you give and they end up having extra left over from the 529, that can be passed on to the next generation. You need to be responsible with money and people and relationships come first. Every time this subject comes up of not being equal with money gifts, you have the people who swear it's no big deal, at least some of whom probably got their own favoritism. Sometimes you really do have a sibling who just faced hard times and is a lovely person and you want them to get more. If one of the families insists you give their part to the sibling than that is fine, but you should not be deciding who deserves more. Yes, you can do absolutely anything with your money. Plenty of people use their money to fund chaos and play favorites and make people feel lousy. They can make endless justifications, but the damage they cause is horrendous. Use your money for good. Either be fair or donate it to a charity.[/quote]

There is quite a bit of projection in this post.  I am a PP who, if my family gave according to means, would get far less than both siblings and in-laws.  I do not view that as funding chaos, of that it's unfair.  I'm thrilled that my parents and inlaws have the means to help nieces and nephews, and am confident that if we needed the help they'd provide it to us too.

Also, the entire tone of your post is off-putting - fearmongering, strident, and harsh.  As I said, I'm guessing that you have been on the short end of the stick, in this situation, and felt wronged.  Part of me is sorry for that, but part of me thinks that if you are this worked up because a less-well off relative received more in gifts or inheritance than you did, you need to seriously re-evaluate your priorities, and are not a terribly good person.  [/quote]

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