Reply to Does this warrant an appointment with a counselor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.  I'm trying to think back to how I was as a kid, and I don't think I liked babies, toddlers, or dolls either when I was young.  Honestly, it really wasn't until I became a mom that I developed that affection, protectiveness, and Awww kind of instinct with young children.

I guess I'm trying to think from an outside perspective, ie, if my kids were to say that out loud to someone else, like at school, they might be concerned. She says a lot of things that, out of context, could trigger someone to flag her for counseling.  She passionately loves animals and is the type to save every worm or ant and will get really upset if people kill bugs.  But at the same time, she'd say she wants to dissect animals, out of curiosity. We do have a lot of M.D.s in our family - but that's the type of thing that out of context, people might get very worried for her.  She does seem to like to push the envelope with us (and only us) in terms of saying things that she probably suspects would be concerning or problematic.

And yes, I suspect pretty much all of us either have adhd or asd. Our kids are not on any social media. But I have caught my oldest looking up things that she should not have been exposed to.  Like those horrible animal farming videos where they show the terrible conditions they live in. And I can see how much it upset her. And angered her. She is too curious for her own good. She holds very extreme points of view, and cannot seem to allow room for nuance.

Our kids are close.  One second they are fighting and annoying each other, and the other second, they are like best friends. Our oldest has been a good teacher to her younger sibs. She's a natural, patient teacher. She's mean and can punch/kick when she's pushed, or someone keeps invading her space, in a reactive way.  But never in a malicious way.  She holds onto anger, from years past, as if it just happened.  Our kids have no issues at school. [/quote]

There are indications of inflexibility here that I would be concerned about since black and white thinking can 1) limit social relationships, 2) limit learning, 3) limit career growth in the future, 4) lead to unhealthy attitudes toward food, exercise etc, and 5) frankly limits her happiness and others’ tolerance of her.

Particularly with your observations about long standing grudges, lack of appreciation of nuance, and possibly making deliberately shocking statements, as a parent, I would want to know more about what to expect in the future. I am not experienced in receiving therapy either for myself or my kids, but I would seek help if one of my kids had black and white thinking and failed to see nuance, especially by the age of 11. I would not be as concerned about wanting to dissect animals, caring for animals more than for people, or associating climate change with overpopulation. But I would be concerned about the long standing grudges, the deliberately shocking statements about leaving babies to die, and rigid thinking. [/quote]

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