Reply to When to intervene- Mean Girl Bullying

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who was your daughter sobbing on they phone to? Does she have at least one or two friends? That can make a huge difference. You say this friend group is 15 people. That's large. Surely they weren't all at the sleepover?

If there are still a few potential friends, it might be worth sticking it out. It can be empowering to have such an awful thing but then come back with your head up, no matter how awful it feels.

If the girls say the party were really that vicious, probably some other kids are not comfortable with that dynamic. The key thing is to find out who are the kind ones.[/quote]

I was going to say doubtful all 15 girls are mean. The others may have chuckled or gone along. Not saying this is ok but it doesn’t have to be friend ending for all 15 girls.

I would personally reach out to the moms who are my personal adult friends.[/quote]

I’m not sure reaching out to moms would make much difference. Odds are very high they already know what is going on, anyway. I have a 15yo DD and while I would talk with her about it- and make sure she isn’t participating in this- I’m not sure I could (or should) try to force her to actively tangle with the Queen Bee either. They are just too old for parents to be involved on this level. Reaching out could very well have the opposite effect and make the DD’s situation worse. [/quote]

If my child participated in bullying behavior, I would find it unacceptable and absolutely would want to know. If my child witnessed and did not stick up for a friend, I would also talk to my child.

My child has told me stories of girls being fat shamed and called sluts. My child did not participate but witnessed girls crying and being obviously upset. My child told me that the bullies may target them instead and kids are afraid of that.

If OP is actual friends with parents, I think it is worth a phone call or coffee.[/quote]

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