Reply to If you were from a family with a golden child and scapegoat, how did they turn out as adults?

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Reply to "If you were from a family with a golden child and scapegoat, how did they turn out as adults?"

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I are both the "scapegoats" in our families, but only to the extent that we allow it, which is less and less. We helped the golden child in DH's family for over ten years, but it was a thankless job, and led to serious problems, such that DH could not cover up (ENABLE) her/SIL/GC any more. It was no longer a possibility, because SIL adversely affected more than DH and I. Of course, SIL took it hard when the gravy train had to stop - and it was not really DH or I who made that decision, as SIL had become a large issue.

In my family and DH's family, the golden children were/are enabled and enmeshed so much for so long, that they now only see themselves, and whomever is either in their image, or whomever "yeses" them the most. It is entertaining to see in action, if not sad.

Being a golden child literally handicaps people, makes them dependent on their enablers, and creates a selfish, greedy, inward monster that can only cater to themselves and their own.

No thanks.  Being the "scapegoats" in our families only empowered DH and I, and taught us so much about dysfunctional people, that we are able to avoid them, seek out healthy people,  and do well on our own.

Golden children only see themselves, and expect the world to cater to them - that is not how the world works. Most healthy, mature adults know this. [/quote]

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