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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any other advice other than professional help? My husband is vehemently against it, and also the children would never in a million years cooperate. It’s a clusterfk just getting them to see a regular doctor. [/quote]

I posted at 13:31 before seeing you didn't want professional help.  Here is what I have found helpful (in addition to professional help) for my kid with anxiety who at home can have very loud angry outbursts and refuse to do basic things.  No sensory issues that I'm aware of.  1) Understand the behavior.  Why is my child acting this way?  What are they anxious about/fearful of?  What are they trying to do or achieve?  It sometimes takes an excruciating amount of time for me to figure this out.  Like weeks ore months to figure out why a certain situation triggers my child.  When my kid is upset they just refuse, refuse, refuse.  They can't or won't explain.  Why don't you want to go to your best fiends house?  "I just don't want to go!!"  Why?  "I just don't!"  And it turns out their best friend wanted to play tag at recess that day not hide and seek so my kid feels rejected. <sigh>  Even if it isn't rational to you it can be a real fear/anxiety for them.  That is legitimate and needs to be given love an understanding.  My kid also is developing social skills so gets frustrated when others reject him.  This doesn't turn into outbursts at school, but when I see my kid having trouble in a social situation I can pull them aside and ask what they are trying to do.  Do you want Larlo to play hide and seek?  Larlo doesn't want to play that game now, but maybe will play later.  You can choose to play the game Larlo is playing or find other kids to invite to play hide and seek.  One thing that helps my relationship with my child is finding things we both like to do and do those as frequently as possible.  This could be reading a book to your child or making cookies or going to batting cages.  Personally I've found it needs to be an activity I enjoy as well otherwise it just drains me and that isn't good for either of us. GL!

But you sound like you need professional help as well.  Even talking with your school's social worker about the range of behaviors and interventions is helpful.  Over the years I've found nuggets here and there that have been invaluable, even from people who were dismissive of me and my concerns.[/quote]

Thanks. Having these types of scripts is helpful and it’s something that definitely doesn’t come naturally to me. It wasn’t modeled for me by any measure.[/quote]

It wasn't modeled for me or my DH either.  We're only in our 40s but had a VERY different/strict upbringing with lots of volatility ourselves.  It has been a very steep learning curve for me, which is why help from others has been really....helpful. :-)[/quote]

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