Reply to Resentment - impasse over home improvement

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[quote=Anonymous]Tough call. I am a woman but would be like the husband in this situation though I sympathize with OP as well.

This isn't some small little thing she wants. It's tens of thousands of dollars for something that is mostly cosmetic. Plus it comes with quality of life inconvenience (and most people are not going to want to rent another house while it's being done!). And she's already like "and you should see our bathrooms..." so you can see where this is going. He's thinking if they open the floodgates with this, it's going to be a new project every year and they may as well just get a new house in a couple ofyears (smaller because the kids will be in college). That makes a ton of sense, I'd 100% be the one making those arguments.

Otoh wifes arguments are valid too. She works and keeps house. They nominally agreed to this in the past. There are cracks that need fixing. They have the money in theory.

What you definitely shouldn't do is the face-lift because you'll still be unhappy with that and your husband will be annoyed you spent the money and still don't like it.

I think you need a heart to heart about finances in general and that you feel undervalued because you make less. A portion of money should be set aside each year for household repairs. And if that money doesn't end up being used for an emergency then use what is left for this remodel. 
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