Reply to Anyone make it work (not just stay together) for the kids?

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Reply to "Anyone make it work (not just stay together) for the kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What you are describing (minus the "for the kids" part) is marriage.

Yes, I got married and I stayed married. I think the stuff in your post was made easier because we started off loving each other and can get back to that and both want to get back to that whenever we can. It's not always like it used to be but with effort and desire, yes, we have made it work.

We try to not to take each other for granted, we give each other grace, we don't keep score (except we do track how often we have sex on a app), and so far, that's worked for both of us.[/quote]

Yeah, in very long marriages there are always low points and high points--peaks and valleys and sometimes just smooth content road.

A lot of people go into marriage not knowing this^^.  I had loving parents and siblings and relatives and pre-marriage counseling that explained all of this.  Even when we were giddy and head over heels, couldn't keep our hands off of one another--I was given the 'it won't be all good times and there may be days or weeks you can't stand them (yes :) people said this)--but that's a 50-year+ overall very happy marriage.

People cut and run at the first hint of boredom with themselves or they start leaning into 'u don't do this' blah blah-and they get nitpicky with one another focusing on all that is bad instead of what is good.[/quote]

Exactly! This. People give up and throw in the towel wayyyy too quickly / easily these days. Part of marriage is remembering the whole “for better or worse” thing and remaining dedicated to the marriage even during those times when the instant gratification/high in love feelings aren’t there. [/quote]

I don’t think this is true at all.  Half of the people in this thread are describing infidelity- that is a dead serious violation of the marriage and I would not blame any person who decided they couldn’t stay with someone who betrayed them in that way.  My own marriage had very inappropriate, abusive behavior that no one should put up with.  No one would blame me for leaving but I am giving DH a chance to work through his baggage for our kids and for the happiness that does exist in our life.  Very few people just “throw in the towel.”  Who can even afford to do that?!  Divorce is so expensive![/quote]

Divorce is not expensive. Having two households is. [/quote]

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