Reply to If you are UMC or MC how would you feel if your adult child married someone from LMC or LC?

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Reply to "If you are UMC or MC how would you feel if your adult child married someone from LMC or LC?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I married a spouse that was less educated, came from a less financially stable family, and had a chaotic childhood with alcoholic, abusive parents. He and his siblings spent years in foster care.

Love cannot solve all issues. My spouse had a very different style of communicating, handling conflict, different opinions on money and our capability to save money (he thought saving 6 months of living expenses was an impossibility), and he eventually went down the path of troubling levels of drinking and alcohol-related behaviors. His history was full of red flags that I ignored or thought would not affect us.

Vetting a potential spouse is almost like vetting a horse... you need to look past how pretty the horse is, and look at the quality of his temperament, the qualities of the parents, how was the horse raised, history of veterinary care, who trained it... etc. Don't pick the horse whose parents had soundness issues and aggressive temperaments amd expect something different just because you love it.[/quote]

Wow, this is such a succinct analogy.  The parents, and how your spouse was treated growing up, matter greatly.  Watch the family interact together, if you are able - and what (inevitably) falling into their old roles really means. [/quote]

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