Reply to Activities with friends: is it assumed that the person who suggests it pays?

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Reply to "Activities with friends: is it assumed that the person who suggests it pays?"

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[quote=Anonymous]No, not unless it’s stated as such. I am always shocked how poorly many educated, otherwise successful adults communicate. Everything from volunteer rec sports/activity coaches to PTA officers to just moms trying to make plans for kids or among themselves. Email, text, or face to face - people are terrible at communicating clearly. I have ADHD and I highly suspect autism as well. Perhaps because I often struggle to understand what other people mean or want, I go out of my way to avoid confusion by imagining the other person’s perspective and proactively addressing potential questions.

If I was planning to pay, I would make that clear by saying it. “I’d love to treat you to lunch/drinks/coffee for your birthday” “I have two tickets to ___ event, would you like to join  me as my guest? (And then decline an offer to pay me for the ticket)” or “we’re hosting a celebration of Larlo’s promotion/ graduation and we hope you can join us.” I think words like treat, host, be my guest are all clear.

As the other side of the conversation we also owe it to the less articulate to clarify in advance to avoid awkwardness. Someone mentions an event with tickets, you can inquire about the price and they can tell you or say “don’t worry, my treat”. If someone invites you do an expensive restaurant, you can demote that it’s out of your price range and suggest a more budget friendly option. There are many ways to allude to the cost and give the person inviting you a chance to clarify their intent.

Lastly, like a person on the “treat you to brunch” thread said, I only make invites where I can afford to pay if needed and I only accept invites where I can pay my share. That way I can just enjoy myself and not spend the whole time dreading the check. [/quote]

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