Reply to How did you assess your spouse for compatibility?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How did you assess your spouse for compatibility?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dated him for 5 years before marriage. Still together after 20 years. I didn’t have a checklist, I just liked him.[/quote]

I'm always curious about ppl who date for that many years before marriage. During that time, do you stray at all, have you already agreed you're getting married after the second or third year of dating? Have you actually only been w/ each other for 20-25 years? [/quote]

I met DH our freshman year of college - I was 19 and he was 18. We figured out we might want to date a few weeks after meeting right before the year ended, talked on the phone over the summer, and really started dating sophomore year. We dated 10 years - engaged after 9. We dated that long because he was dragging his heels / didn’t think marriage was necessary unless it was time to have kids and because we both wanted to finish graduate school first. We married because I gave him an ultimatum and that was 16 years ago. We have two kids - the first was born 5 years after we married. He kissed another woman and I was getting annoyed and accepted a date over cocktails with another man but otherwise to my knowledge there hasn’t been anyone else. I’ve definitely flirted pre marriage but nothing physical.

I liked that we had the similar value of picking the same college, both wanted kids, he was very calm during my melt downs, and he’s very funny. I tried breaking up with him a few times - all short lived - and realized I missed him and wanted to tell him about my day. Also, I really liked how caring he was in those times (like asking me if I’d like a ride home when I was upset or warning me about a guy who asked me out who was a creep- though I already knew that).

He’s still funny and smart and an excellent dad. We’re not compatible on some things (preferred level of tidiness / willingness to work for that; religion) but we make it work. [/quote]

That's lovely. Good for you guys.

I think it actually works better if you're not compatible on everything. I think you need something to argue about at times to keep it from being mundane.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics