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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was this kid.  I wasn't stupid, I understood where I stood on the team - I was slower than most and not very athletically gifted.  But I *loved* my sport, I'm still very into sports in general, and my longest-standing friends are ones I made playing basketball in high school.  By senior year the coach asked if I wanted to be a manager and I was kind of embarrassed but really did prefer to do that and stay on the "team" than to just drop the sport, so I did.

I think you just support her for where she is.  The benefits of sports are much more wide-ranging than parents on these boards focus on: friendship, life lessons, cardio, healthy habits, all-girl spaces, etc.  It's not all about having a "hook."  If she wants to do camps or skills programs, and it's not an astronomical amount of money, you help her.  She can get better, but she'll never have a full ride to college.  You know this, she either already knows or will know soon.  But if she drops the sport it should be because she doesn't want to do it anymore, not because mom and dad sat her down and explained that she's a dud and this is a waste of their time.[/quote]

Thank you, basketball mom. Op here and DD is a basketball player and so your words mean a lot to me. In our area girls’ basketball isn’t a huge sport and the options at her current age are learn-to-play/intro vs. travel. There aren’t many competitive opportunities for girls who aren’t doing travel past 3rd/4th grade unless they are at a Catholic school and can play in CYO, but her school isn’t fielding a team in her grade this year. DD puts in the work, goes to extra clinics and skill sessions, and is a leader for conditioning and drills. But she just doesn’t have that extra magic that some of her teammates have. She loves everything about the sport and her teammates and I want her to be able to stay in that world for a little longer. [/quote]

[b]NP but I'm trying to follow this.  Is your daughter only 8-9 years old? Candidly, you and your daughter are probably overreacting for her age. [/b]

At that age, if she's a hard worker, by all means have her keep with it.  Her body hasn't even really begun to develop in a way that you her skills/athleticism can be fully predicted.  Now, is she only a hard worker at practices and games? Or, is she a hard worker on her own as well? Many people think basketball success comes from natural athleticism but that's very rare and is generally the result of genetic freaks that are basically giants.  It takes a lot of playing time and hard work to be a good basketball player, even at that age.

Does she play basketball away from her team? Do you have a goal at home or a park nearby where you take her a few times a week? Does she dribble her ball around the house to the point where it drives you crazy?  Did either of her parents play basketball at a level to where they can coach her on form/skills/techniques? If the answer to any of those questions is no, then she's not really that hard of worker and that's okay.  Few kids at 8/9 are that passionate. She should play to the level that she enjoys the sport, but don't compare her to other kids that might be doing those things. If she's staying on the team or in the league, then she's doing well.

Now, if basketball is her love and she's that hard of worker, there are very clear skills she can work on in her free time that will make her an asset to teams.  Kids at that age are not good shooters.  Shooting is a skill that can be improved tremendously just through repeated proper practice.  If she's that hard of a worker and has a base level of athleticism, she should be able to develop into a defensive pest, especially as she begins to learn team defense assignments/rotations, etc. (this will happen at older ages).  She may never be a great dribbler (although that is something that can be greatly improved), but there are so many ways to handle the ball to adjust. There are techniques that will improve her rebounding, her ability to pass, her ability to attack the basket, but just going to her team's practices may not get her there.

I say all of this as a former D-1 college basketball player that was consumed with basketball at an early age but was overly tall (I'm only 6'2") or athletic (good but not otherwordly elite).  I'm also a parent that is frustrated with my own 8 y.o.lack of commitment to her sport even though she is more athletic than her counterparts because I know she'll be passed by counterparts like her daughter.

Finally, don't compare her to the elite players.  That's incredibly unfair to her and she'll be able to sense your disappointment.[/quote]

First basketball PP here to +1 the heck out of the bolded.  Your kid hasn't even hit puberty yet, there's no special razzle dazzle magic that she should be showing in the sport yet to justify continuing, OP!  And the heartbreak she has about being overlooked by God makes even less sense in this situation.[/quote]

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