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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s the financial instability that is a major red flag for me, especially since he’s 47.

That, combined with his not being willing to call you his girlfriend. I understand not wanting to use labels, but also after 6 months and the relationship isn’t exclusive, seems like the label is kind of de facto. Why the resistance? What’s the label have to do with financial instability?

OP, I get it that you have a strong connection with this guy, but it sounds like he is not going to be able to give you any kind of security - financial or otherwise. I think it’s time to move on. [/quote]

+100, exactly what PP said. [b]If he doesn’t want to take you off the market[/b], so to speak, by even saying you are bf/gf, I don’t see this ending well.[/quote]

NP. I think I agree with this.

Let me get this straight (and there is no judgment, just trying to clarify): you have a sexual relationship, are sexually exclusive, spend a significant portion of free time with each other on a regular basis, support each other emotionally through hard circumstances, and have met and spent time with each other's family and friends. What else is left that doesn't make you boyfriend and girlfriend?

OP, is he perfectly fine with you dating other men (without sexual involvement), as in still being on online dating aps, and being known to friends (who might be able to set you up) as available? I mean, if he is not your boyfriend, is he okay with you still looking for a boyfriend with the presumption that this relationship is over if you become interested in another man and want to pursue that?

If he is okay with that, and you can be open about looking elsewhere, then I kind of understand it? I mean, it's not what I'm into, but it's logically consistent. But if all that listed above is true AND you either explicitly or otherwise pretty clearly are not supposed to be looking at other men with interest and plans potentially to pursue ... then you are his girlfriend.

I know it sounds like everything is going well, but I'd be really, really skeptical of someone who has a need that you must respect but are unable to name. As someone above said, that is exactly the recipe for "plausible deniability" for him -- "I never said you couldn't date anyone else! We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, you know that!" This kind of cognitive dissonance is a power play. It really is. It's ... disturbing, in part because when it's covered in sugar and flowers, it's hard to see.

On the other hand, if he's fine with you still being "on the market" as long as you stay sexually exclusive, I think it makes sense to enjoy the relationship for what it is. I'd still absolutely encourage to keep online dating profiles up, go on first dates to see what's out there at least 2-3 times a month, and keep your options open. It is a very tangible reminder of where things actually are, and it keeps you open to someone who will want to move forward in the way that you want. Maybe. You might not find anyone you like, but you might -- and apparently that is your right, as you are not dating this guy as his girlfriend, right?[/quote]

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