Reply to Husband’s female friend encroaching

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse tried to police my contacts with old friends and colleagues. I shut that controlling sh** down immediately.[/quote]
+1 This woman has been a platonic (OP’s words) friend longer than there’s been a wife. [/quote]

Where are you getting that from? I went back and OP never said how long they've been married...[/quote]

Truth be told it doesn’t matter that they haven’t been married as long as they been friends. They are still married. You don’t have to cross a certain number of married years before you should be able to expect your partner to put you first.

That’s a gaslighting phrase ppl like to use to excuse poor behavior and boundaries or[b] to make it sound like the wife is wrong for wanting to not come second to another woman in her husbands life.[/b][/quote]

Can you explain your thinking here?  How is the friend coming in first?  He supports his wife financially.  He LIVES with his wife.  He does chores for their house/children/family.  He probably watches TV with her and talks to her. He parents with her.

And because he has texts with a platonic woman friend, he is putting the friend first?

I’m unable to follow that logic at all.  Why can’t good friends exist outside of a marriage/relationship?  He ISN”T married to the friend. He is a support to that friend becuase that is what friends do, support each other.  But his wife is still MORE supported by him (sexually, financially, physically and emotionally).[/quote]

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