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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: thank you all for sharing. Reading your responses kinda scares me. If I’m going to be dealing with this awful pile of trash for the foreseeable future I wonder if I can even come close to recovering feelings for my spouse?

Day to day I like my spouse, we get along well but it feels like I’m living with someone who shot me…sure the gun has been taken away but they still shot me. I’m hanging out with someone who was awful and it’s like I’m now betraying myself. I suppose healing or something like it will come once I’m able to separate the crime from the criminal. 
Make sense? [/quote]

I won’t lie. You will be forever changed by it.  I am not the outgoing, happy go lucky person I once was.  I got paranoid and I lost a lot of friends because I stopped socializing the year after and [b]I always feel like I’m hiding this big dirty secret which is so against my honest transparent nature——all to protect my kids[/b] which neither of the married cheaters did or thought about.  The fact I was still having sec and the marriage appeared good was even harder to deal with.

I lost a lot of joy.[/quote]
Same. I’m a total straight arrow and find it repulsive that I am involved in keeping someone else’s dirty secret, but I know that if I blab all over town, it makes me look like the crazy woman scorned and only serves to hurt other innocent people. I really resent him for introducing tawdriness into my life. And it’s so cliche! I never wanted to be in a soap opera.[/quote]

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