Reply to What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?

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Reply to "What did you do about ‘fairness’ if one child’s education costs a lot more than the other’s?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Fair does not mean equal. I have taught my kids this since they were very young.[b] Everyone gets what is right for them[/b].[/quote]

This is such BS. You are ALL knowing? Of course I would need specifics to be entitled to my outrage. But, generally ... as long as no child is an extreme outliner re: needs, people DO care a lot re: fairness. If you aren't fair, it will forever harm your relationship with them and their relationship with each other.[/quote]

Only if you raised entitled brats.  If you raise your kids correctly, they won't be obsessed with "Sib X got $YK so I deserve $YK as well".   Our kids are thankful for all we do to help them.  The one who "got less growing up" is now attending college over $80K/year.  The one who needed tons of therapies and interventions growing up (costing us well over $100K+) went to college with merit awards and only cost $160K total.    Neither cares, because they know we will support them along the way with whatever they need (ie should they need something at 25 and not be able to afford it, we will help).   However, if you raise your kids to think "everyone gets $20, and if one gets 25, then the other is due an extra $5" then you are raising kids to keep track and want tit for tat.  Not healthy IMO.  Life is never "fair", and I don't raise my kids to think they are entitled to exactly the same monetary rewards---they are entitled to getting whatever they need at that point in life to help them succeed. [/quote]

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