Reply to Why is there fear of being direct?

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Why is there fear of being direct?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Great timing. I am generally not 'direct' as my first play and instead do some sort of very clear hint + humor + kind smile.  ie:

Direct: 
"Jim, please stop stop blocking my driveway even a little bit, with your car. The law in DC is to leave a minimum 5 ft of clearance. You have plenty of room to pull up in front of your own home, so in the future, please do that."

Oblique: 
"Jim, I've been having trouble navigating backing out of my driveway and I'm afraid I'm going to nick your bumper when it's close to my driveway."

IN MY experience, I get the result I want 97% of the time. Jim is more careful parking his car and I have plenty of clearance to back out.

To answer OP, the reason I don't use option #1 as my first play ..... when I'm direct like that, Jim will be very cool to me for a long time. Jim is my next door neighbor of 10 years and we watch each others' cats in a pinch. Sometimes I need to borrow a tool from Jim and I want to preserve that option rather than buy a $200 circular saw that I use once. I feel uncomfortable when Jim pulls up and pretends he doesn't see him and hurries into his house without saying "hi."

THAT is why I don't go for the 'direct' option first.  To avoid discomfort for the next __ years, if possible. But if Jim fails to take the self effacing hint and I can't back out, eventually I'll move onto 'direct' if it's important.[/quote]

I actually consider your "Oblique" option as pretty direct. The first option sounds like you’ve started litigation 🥹[/quote]

Right?

I'm curious about what the person with the grabby in-laws is being asked for and what they're saying in response. There are a lot of direct but not hostile ways to turn down requests. Focus on what you're going to do or not do, not the merits of the proposal [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics