Reply to Husband gets massively annoyed that the house has to be maintained

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH sort of does this when things break down in the house. Leads by complaining that the house was shoddily built. It’s incredibly annoying.

But, we were in marital counseling for other issues and he was explaining how he dislikes when I leave holiday decorations out beyond what he sees as an appropriate amount of time. Then he gets a wild hair and puts them all away and throws out those he doesn’t like. What he revealed was that having the decorations out really ratchets up his anxiety (and IMO undiagnosed ADHD) when they are out.

Point being, perhaps your spouse has an issue with anxiety in these situations and it is causing him to lash out?[/quote]

Sounds like my husband. We just had remodeling done two years ago and while I agree that there are some things that could have been done with better product, like paint that doesn’t seem to come off if you blow at the wall, there are some things that just happen.  We have an OTR microwave that suddenly stopped getting hot when microwaving our leftovers.  He likes to blame these “sudden” issues on me or my nearly adult daughters (we are a blended family and his kids are out of the house now, mine are 17 and 18). He said “you sure no one put something in the microwave that doesn’t belong?” Like metal or something. I looked at him and dismissed that question.  I also said that we have to change the charcoal filter.  He said “I’ve never had to change a filter in a microwave in all my life, I call BS” he also never had an Over The Range microwave that circulates air.  Shm.  He said “things don’t stop working suddenly” and I couldn’t have laughed so hard in my life if I tried.  He also said that he had a rough day at work and is so *bleeping* annoyed because it seems that every time he turns around, it’s always *bleeping* something and that he didn’t want to talk about it.  He throws money at people too to fix things instead of doing it himself because he does work so much.  It took everything in my being to calmly respond with “I need to be able to talk to you about these things (house maintenance) without you becoming so frustrated that you start to swear.”  Then I left him to his thoughts until he came to bed and apologized in his own way (the man never uses the word sorry, but I know he is, sometimes). [/quote]

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