Reply to What to say to relative who drinks too much when visiting?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: What should I say tonight if she confronts me about avoiding her/not engaging? I think we are going to try to just get through this last night and make some adjustments about when we see her in the future. I just need a plan for what I say/do tonight. Should I say that I’m happy to discuss it in the morning, but I won’t be talking about it right now? Should I ask her husband in a nice way to intervene in the short term? [/quote]

I would just walk away. And engage with the kids or take the cousins + kids out at that point.

It's not about words or info, OP.

You can control your reaction, you can control what experiences you give the kids.

I would not allow her to escalate and cause a scene. So just drop the rope. And no, triangulating BIL in is not great either. Model kind but firm non-engagement to the kids.

If you take the kids all out to a movie it will create a nice memory and you won't be there to fight with. Alkies LOVE to create scenes and drama and then play the victim. It hugely sucks for their kids. My extended family, who I only saw once or twice a year, had a HUGE impact on me and my ability to grow into a somewhat normal adult. Focus on the kids and controlling yourself, take the focus off SIL. Maybe the kids would like an escape room, or something else, make that plan, and just go. DH and BIL can hang out with SIL for an evening. [/quote]

Not me! When I drink by myself, I prefer to be alone (G. Thorogood).[/quote]

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