Reply to Vent about my cruel immature mother

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Vent about my cruel immature mother"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom grew up in truly dire circumstances. She is damaged goods. She has always sided with others against her own family, and it sounds like that's what your mom is doing with this relative. It's a way to bond with others, to throw someone else to the wolves. I think this kind of reaction is based on serious, SERIOUS trauma and the person can't bond with anyone in a normal way. If she could, she'd have bonded with you AGAINST the outside world, and not be attempting to bond with others by sacrificing you.

Sorry your mom sucks. Contact people directly so you don't have to rely on your mother to stay in touch.[/quote]

Not OP, but I agree and in dyfunctional families too often you have to go through the crazy one to keep in touch. The problem OP might run into getting in touch directly is dysfunctional people will go back to her mom and say "Oh guess who contacted me? We spoke with hours. I had no idea X.y.z" and then your mom blows up because you never told her that or she wants to be the disseminator of all info and next thing you know that person is still close with your mom, but not someone safe for you.[/quote]

OP here- I appreciate these thoughtful replies. This and the PP right above you describe my mom exactly. I basically don’t have direct access to my remaining relatives on my mom’s side because of how she controls me and the others, but I never fully noticed that or understood why. For a long time I beat myself up for this. I’m grateful to have some outside insight that helps me describe my situation better and feel less guilty about my inability to maintain healthy extended family relations.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics