Reply to Absolutely no sex drive…and minimal sexual attraction

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The qualities that make a good, stable husband and father are not, unfortunately, the qualities that women - by and large - find sexually desirable.

You are not going to encourage him to be an exciting bad boy - to attract the attention of other women and make you jealous, to spend time and money on things that make him attractive, to be unreliable in a way that creates exciting emotional swings. These things are all destabilizing to family life.

So, I don't know - read some erotica, use some toys, learn how to get your own motor running and then be intentional about using that energy on your husband. [/quote]

Here is the answer, right here. I hate to say it. I am in my mid 30s, married for ten years, with a dead sex life. We have sex twice a week but I may or may not come, don’t find it super enjoyable, etc. My husband overall is decently nice tho- nice person, nice husband, but little self confidence and not a whole lot of outside the box thinking. Sex is vanilla and about function vs. pleasure. He has complained that because I am not in the mood often enough, essentially, I am the one killing our sex life. It takes me a lot to “get going” with him, lots of lube, etc. always fantasizing.

Well a couple of months ago, out at the bar, met a guy….did not go all the way or even close to it but let me tell you I haven’t been that wet in a decade. Sorry- judge me all you want.

I read something on DCUM last night- guys kill the relationship, but blame women for lack of intimacy.

I have never cheated on DH in our decade together but finally feeling free and open, I am reevaluating everything. Whether this means a divorce or not, who knows right now. But I also understand it has to do with stable, boring guys means that they don’t bring much excitement to the sexual table. [b]But for years I thought it was solely a me problem. [/b]

Hang in there. I don’t think it’s you. [/quote]

It is 100% a you problem.[/quote]

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