Reply to Moms of boys - what type of relationship do you want with them as adults

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Moms of boys - what type of relationship do you want with them as adults"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to say something ridiculous that I would only say on an anonymous forum:

Have you ever heard that silly old saying, "A daughter's a daughter all of her life. A son is a son until he takes a wife."?

I worry about this. [/quote]
I hate that stupid saying. I think it comes down to how you treat them as children and their spouse's family values. I am raising my sons to be responsible adults. I expect them to put their spouse and children's needs ahead of mine. I'm raising them to let them go live their lives. I hope to be part of that life. Meanwhile, I have plans for travels, tennis, lunches with friends. In other words, I eill still have a life to live when they're grown.[/quote]

I disagree.  It’s actually very common for the wife’s side to win out over the husband’s, especially when the wife sows discontent with the husband’s parents.  Women are very competitive that way.  [/quote]

I agree with this solely based on it's just easier for a DIL to deal with her own parents than it is to deal with ILs, even if they are great ILs[/quote]

I don’t like my ILs very much, but we see them as much as we see my parents. *DH is a responsible adult* who plans their visits and manages them. Here again you are essentially blaming a DIL and expecting her to carry all the responsibility of seeing BOTH sets of parents. When one set of parents sees the family more than the other, there’s a husband who doesn’t care much behind the dynamic, equally responsible, even if the DIL doesn’t like the ILs much.[/quote]

New poster here. It’s not a matter of “blaming“ but a matter of recognizing reality. Mine is just one anecdote, I know, but we have three married daughters and we absolutely have much stronger relationships with all three sons in laws than their parents have with our daughters.  We also get together much more often with our daughters and sons-in-law and their kids much more frequently and have closer relationships with the grandchildren.  And all three of our sons-in-law have nice parents and families.  I feel bad for them for missing out, but they all seem fine with the way things are.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics