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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What time is the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday? My family does this lovely tradition where the main meal is around 4pm and all are expected to survive on air until then. [/quote]

OP here. Dinner is planned for 4. I know my family ( including my own two teenage boys) - we will be up late Wednesday night and everyone will sleep in late - like think noon. I initially said my plan was to have bagels and cream cheese and then light appetizers if people are still hungry before 4 pm. I actually thought about a breakfast casserole but I never got that far with my sister because she started getting bossy and obnoxious and we ended the call. To the PP who said something to the effect that we are both at fault- of course there is some truth to that - but my sister truly is obnoxious and I try time and time again to ignore her, which of course I’ll do this time too. And yes her “ kids” are adults - mid- twenties. I’ll have other food in the house but I will rethink serving more for breakfast based on suggestions here. I’m not trying to starve anyone but really need the kitchen space. I have a big house but a tiny kitchen.  And it’s classic that rather than be gracious my sister is now refusing to bring anything. She’s being spiteful in my opinion. [/quote]

As a mediator, I will offer the simple observation that very rarely are longterm problems caused solely by one person. OP, you seem committed to your narrative that your sister is the one at fault and always has been. You seem rigid and expect everyone to be grateful for your hard work. This is unrealistic. Very few people in life want to be constantly grateful to others, especially when you have to be grateful even when what the person is offering doesn't work for you. People are grateful when one offers the help they need, not the help the offerer cares to provide.

I am not saying your sister is not at fault. It just seems to me that you truly can't take responsibility for the part you may have played in the trajectory of your relationship over the years, that has landed you in this situation today. I feel certain both of you are resentful of teh other and how each of you feels you are treated by the other. [/quote]

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