Reply to Main breadwinner for family but need to quit because of SN child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Not interested in posting every detail of my child’s diagnoses, marriage, etc.

Can anyone talk about quitting their job because you did not feel it was possible to work while having a kid with SN? Was there a time period or age when it felt more manageable? Did you try, for example, taking 2-3 years off and did it move the needle? Did going back feel manageable after taking a break?[/quote]

Ok but it's hard to be helpful if you won't tell anyone anything. So your child has a condition that's very time-consuming, and your DH also has some sort of mystery impairment that renders him useless to help in any way. Oke doke. FYI people here are not that sympathetic to slacking DHs, nor to in-denial DHs, nor to diagnosis-resisting DHs. People may tell you to reach a place of acceptance with your DH, but they're not going to stop telling you that he's a big part of the problem.

The time period or age depends on your child's development and your circumstances in general. For me, it was easier when my child started Kindergarten and became entitled to the accomodations and services provided in the public school system. (We are not in an area with free preschool). Not sure what age that would happen for your child where you live. Because then I didn't have to do, for example, private speech therapy because it was handled at school. And my DC was in a self-contained classroom and I had no fear of expulsion-- in private preschool I was constantly afraid of expulsion. It got easier in some ways as my DC grew older and achieved milestones like potty training, being dry all night, etc. But other things in life got harder-- my parents aged, my DC struggled more in puberty, etc. It just depends.

I don't know what you mean by "move the needle". Honestly it sounds like you hope that if you work hard enough you can fix or cure your DC. And I would suggest you need to disengage from that hope and accept your DC as they are. Or you're in a bargaining phase of like "If I quit work for 2 years, I'll get X outcome in return". And I'm here to tell you it just doesn't work that way.

If things are really as bad as you describe, then your DC may not be self-supporting as an adult. So you need to see a financial planner and discuss special needs trusts etc. before you even consider quitting your job.
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