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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to say something ridiculous that I would only say on an anonymous forum:

Have you ever heard that silly old saying, "A daughter's a daughter all of her life. A son is a son until he takes a wife."?

I worry about this. [/quote]
I hate that stupid saying. I think it comes down to how you treat them as children and their spouse's family values. I am raising my sons to be responsible adults. I expect them to put their spouse and children's needs ahead of mine. I'm raising them to let them go live their lives. I hope to be part of that life. Meanwhile, I have plans for travels, tennis, lunches with friends. In other words, I eill still have a life to live when they're grown.[/quote]

I agree with this. Whether you have a close relationship really depends on two things a. How well you transition from parent child to parent adult child relationship and b logistics. Older people , or maybe it’s just a boomer thing, tend to be rigid in their wants, and resort to manipulation, guilt, money and toxic ways to force obligation. They’ll blame the DIL, throw fits and completely miss doing what is simple to have a good relationship. The term family values is code for Im old and entitled and are obligated to appease me.  A healthy parent adult child relationship isn’t based on entitlement or guilt or rage or obligation.[/quote]

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