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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you all, particularly the PP with the long and detailed response.

For anyone interested spectators (my usual role in the relationship forum), i don’t know if there’s someone else. I would have said that it’s impossible 6 months ago, but now I’m wondering. I don’t care enough to find out. I don’t think it impacts anything.

I guess my biggest fears are all financial. I don’t have a ton in non-retirement savings, partly because of the way DH likes to like and spend. I was thinking that I need time to get a career re-started and feel like I’d be on firm ground financially, but maybe that’s exactly wrong from a divorce proceedings perspective?

I’m most worried about the impact on the kids (teens).

And when i say ‘growing apart’ i mainly mean that we are well past the giddy stage and I’m getting too worn out by our lives to kiss his butt. It’s never that simple of course, but mainly it seems like he’s tired of the kids being prioritized over him and maybe he’s found someone who’s more attentive?  It would be hard to find someone less attentive i guess. We don’t really fight or anything, we just are going about our daily lives fairly separately. [/quote]

Were you having intimacy?  Date nights?  Did you enjoy any of your time together?

I’ve noticed sometimes women are fine with a sort of independent/roommate lifestyle and it’s the man who is miserable, missing sex, missing intimacy, missing emotional connection.[/quote]

Because the women are carrying the weight of everything --kids, their own work, the house, carpools, planning holidays, finding camps, etc.. so they are absolutely exhausted.  Some grown babies then feel neglected and lean out and find some woman that will kiss his *ss ----but his wife would have been that person with more help and patience.  It's sad but that is what I see with these midlife affairs.

Just imagine how 'fun' and 'sexy' the wife would be if she only saw him to bang a few times a month vs washing his dirty underwear and cooking dinner after her work day before driving the kids to practice.[/quote]

Np.

Oops, I just wrote a similar thing. 
After 10 years of trying to get my apsie work addict spouse semi-involved in big household decisions or even to read his emails, I just stopped that verbally abusive cycle. He’d lash out at questions, reminders, decision making processes or shut down entirely.

Then I noticed he was less grumpy when not notified or spoken to so we did that for years 10-15. Better for me and he kids to not see his temper tantrums.

But then we moved house and he couldn’t handle that new candence and decided he needs a divorce.

I no longer care so will go interview some attorneys. Meanwhile, I work full time, so everything for the kids and house. Not much will change for me. I guess he’ll go on to life in an apartment, date and watch Netflix and try the bachelor life plus some a Disney Dad dinners and weekends. [/quote]

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