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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister is the favorite of both of my parents, but I recognize that I was a very difficult child/teen. I excelled in school, was involved in clubs and sports, had lots of friends, but also suffered from anxiety (no one used that phrase in the 1970’s/80’s - my family just called me “uptight,” ha!), so in the safety of my home/around my parents and sister I had a short fuse and would get upset very quickly. In hindsight, I am sure I made home life difficult for my parents and sister, and my sister on the other hand was very easy going. [/quote]

Favorites are not always the result of one child being difficult.  Nor should it be held against that now grown adult.

[b]Sometimes there are bullies in the families who want to create and perpetuate a false narrative - you know, the histrionic sibling who tells the stories where they are unfailingly the hero. Or the fabricated stories about who did what, when, decades ago (while carefully omitting important and accurate facts).  
[/b]
The sibling who was accepted to a better school, or got a better job (or any random reason) and the other sibling/s having a chip on their shoulder about that - which sometimes never goes away. The sibling that helps others, yet no good deed goes unpunished situations can be difficult, because nothing is ever (ever) good enough for certain people.

There are siblings that literally exclude other siblings, out of greed.  Heck, I have seen some petty siblings take photos at holidays, etc. and leave a sibling who was present out of the photo (and feign ignorance). Bullying can be subtle or not, and carry over from early years, as the bully refuses to grow up, and remains socially stunted.

It can sometimes be better to let the favorited sibling get their just desserts, and sit back and watch what happens. [/quote]

I was not the easiest teen, and now as an adult, I've been diagnosed with ADHD and much of the poor treatment from my mother and younger sister I understand much better now, though I still think they are not kind. I was successful in school, made friends easily, but they just never liked me. They spun a lot of stories about why I was so awful, and it hurt then and still hurts now. Most people who meet them are surprised that I come from such hateful people. Today, we still have a strained relationship and they are both pretty unhappy. Sister is single and can't find a husband, so she hates that I am happily married with a child and my mom is on husband number 3 and hates that I have the life now that was taken from her. She was a SAHM who had to go back to work when she divorced my dad. I don't wish unhappiness on them, but, they are also living the lives they've built for themselves with their actions. [/quote]

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