Reply to I hate where we live.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I hate where we live."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

If you're on anti-depressants and you are that miserable...

... you won't be very happy elsewhere, OP.

Moving is not a magic pill. You're trying to run away from yourself. Fix what's wrong instead, and if you want, you can also move. But treat the two separately, because they are separate. I think your husband understands this about you, hence his moving the goalposts - which, BTW, isn't cool either. But he probably can't articulate what's wrong with your scenario because he's too close to the situation.

[/quote]

This is garbage. I lived in DC for 15 years. Hated it. Never felt like home. Felt like a place we were just on a treadmill to pass the time until we die. Terrible.  Lucky for me, DH felt similarly (though interestingly, came from an entirely different part of the planet from me).  We agreed to come up with a 5 year plan to leave. And we stuck to it. We moved to the first place we had the opportunity for, even though it was totally random and not where we might have picked. One week into our new city, and we both agreed we would never leave if we didn't have to.  16 years later, and we are still in the same state of that first place we moved (although several hours away) and are very, very, very happy.

Geographic places can absolutely be horrid and impact your mental health, and picking a nicer place can absolutely make you happier. This isn't just that some people are Debbie downers and are going to be miserable everywhere. Some places (DC) just objectively suck. [/quote]

NP, not the person to whom you're responding, but that PP is correct. There is more subtlety in what OP describes than just "I hate DC and want to move and then things will be fine." If OP is so depressed she is medicated for it, there is very likely more going on than JUST their location. She's focused on that and may think that if they could only move, she'd be happy at long last. Maybe she would, but there are many other factors besides "I don't like it here" in any move, once you have a spouse and children, and if you and/or your spouse have careers that don't easily translate to the place you want to be. And OP describes trouble making friends and when she does make them, they move away. She needs to rethink why she has fizzled on friendships and get outside whatever box she's looking in for friends. I'm not blaming her, I'm saying there is more to this than just "I hate it here" but she won't see that. I hope she's getting talk therapy and will bring this up and be open to the idea that maybe she needs to stop seeing a move through rose-colored glasses. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics