Reply to Disabled spouse needs in home care but keeps firing aides

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[quote=Anonymous]I have had to deal with my husband's rare, chronic illness. I finally put my foot down regarding the way he treated me. He was angry all the time and excused everything due to the condition. I went along with this because I was thinking it's unfair that we always ask disabled people to act like heroes and be inspirational in their behavior and I knew he was really struggling with knowing that this is never going away and his life as he knew it was over.

However, at some point I had to fight it and say stop.  He heard me and ended this behavior.

He is on an SSRI and it does help.

Time and adjustment to their reality helps. They hate the situation they're in and feel helpless and hopeless. He feels less so now, thank goodness.

I also sort of took control of my household in a way, like this is what we are doing now, like it or not. Like you may need to make the decisions about the caregivers and handle the issue, even if he pays for it. It may actually make it easier for him as I'm sure this stresses him out.

Also, some illnesses have behavior changes as part of the illness. That may be what you are dealing with and you should probably bring this up with his doctor and ask about that.[/quote]

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