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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand recommendations not to mention the water bottle. Seems like an easy opening: "Hey, I found your Excelsior College water bottle when I was emptying the trash. Did you mean to throw it out?"[/quote]

I know, right?  And what’s with all the walking on eggshells?[/quote]

I was one of the PPs who mentioned this - IMO it wasn't walking on eggshells about the water bottle, but rather to focus more on [b]open-ended questions on how the college application process is feeling to her first[/b].  For my kids if I mentioned the water bottle first they would down play it because it seems kind of tantrummy and embarrassing and they [b]might also think I'm nagging [/b]them about being wasteful.

But if I got them to open up first about how hard and stressful this all is I might get them to talk more.  I probably would end up telling them, yeah I thought something was up when I saw that water bottle in the trash if they shared some issues about the school.  [b]Also  if they just said 'everything is fine' I might follow up  asking specifically about the water bottle.[/b]
I don't know about yours, but my teens don't particularly like to talk about their negative emotions so I have to strategize a bit.  OP can decide what likely works for hers.
[/quote]

OK, if that's what works for your kids. Mine would not see a question about trash as nagging (there are non-tantrummy reasons to throw out a water bottle), but a broad question about their emotional life, with follow-ups, would make them shut down. [/quote]

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