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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand recommendations not to mention the water bottle. Seems like an easy opening: "Hey, I found your Excelsior College water bottle when I was emptying the trash. Did you mean to throw it out?"[/quote]

I know, right?  And what’s with all the walking on eggshells?[/quote]

I was one of the PPs who mentioned this - IMO it wasn't walking on eggshells about the water bottle, but rather to focus more on open-ended questions on how the college application process is feeling to her first.  For my kids if I mentioned the water bottle first they would down play it because it seems kind of tantrummy and embarrassing and they might also think I'm nagging them about being wasteful.

But if I got them to open up first about how hard and stressful this all is I might get them to talk more.  I probably would end up telling them, yeah I thought something was up when I saw that water bottle in the trash if they shared some issues about the school.  Also  if they just said 'everything is fine' I might follow up  asking specifically about the water bottle.
I don't know about yours, but my teens don't particularly like to talk about their negative emotions so I have to strategize a bit.  OP can decide what likely works for hers.

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