Reply to Is it possible to be happy in a marriage that doesn't bring you the lifestyle you want?

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Reply to "Is it possible to be happy in a marriage that doesn't bring you the lifestyle you want?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP probably has close to 50 threads with some version of this sob story. Go to therapy or leave him or whatever. But you're waiting on someone else to change your life. It doesn't work like that. [/quote]

She does? I'm on this board a lot and this sounds somewhat familiar but I wouldn't have guesses that. Are you sure this isn't just a somewhat common problem?

I'm almost 10 years older than OP and do have a kid, though I have struggled with similar issues off and on -- my DH will claim he has a similar goal to mine but then when push comes to shove he's lazy and will say "nah, we're good in our apartment/with one kid/at this income/etc. it's silly to want more." So I relate to what she's saying, though I've stuck it out and manage to get a lot of what I want out of the marriage even though it often requires me to push DH or stand up to him claiming we're perfectly happy where we are out and say "no I am not happy, I want to make a plan to do X." It's hard but I have gotten better at standing up for myself.

Maybe I just relate to OP even though I'm not in the same situation anymore. I think it can take time to address this because your partner never truly becomes flexible. You always have to push. I don't view divorce as being on the table because we had a kid, so I've had to make it work. I have found happiness, because I've strategically pushed for the things that make me happy. I've let other stuff go.[/quote]

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