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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All depends on your kid I suppose. Last year DS had no issue applying to H, BU and NEU, but refused to apply to Drexel, because he would be staring at Penn in jealousy the entire time he was in school. [/quote]

We had a similar conversation with my DS about Drexel as a safety - and it was a no due to being across the street from Penn.

But let's assume the OP was talking about Carleton and St. Olaf's 
Or Clark and Holy Cross

Does that change things? [/quote]

Carleton and St. Olafs came to my mind, because they neatly fit OP’s description. And, if my kid had not gotten into their ED school, those likely would have a safety and a reach for them.  So in giving my answer, I’m going to assume those are the two colleges, even though they probably aren’t.  It’s just easier to discuss using actual school names.

First, apply and see what happens. If you have a decent list, it should not come down to St. Olafs being the only option in May.  And the kid should not apply to St.Olafs— or any safety— unless they would be happy attending.  A good college list has good and better outcomes. Not good and bad outcomes. 
 
I think this is a decision that should be made by the kid. And that if it came down to St. Olafs vs Wooster, for example, in May,  I would advise them to be really honest with themselves about their feelings— how they feel about St. Olafs vs Wooster and  how they feel  about their Carleton rejection— before committing to St. Olafs.

There is a lot at play and kids can react in surprising ways. So, I don’t think there is a one size fits all answer.

First, OP assumes her kid will really want the reach school and be really disappointed by the safety. But, real life is messier than that.  There is a difference between being a reach and a dream school.  If the kid is 4th generation Carleton and wore the sweatshirt growing up and went to homecomings with parents wanted it enough to ED and the rejection crushed them, that’s different than them viewing both schools in a generally positive light, liking both campuses and Carleton happening to be more selective. Carleton and St. Olafs have a lot of cross admits. And Parchment says 36% of kids admitted to both choose St. Olafs.  Your kid could be in the 36%.   FWIW, both my kid and I liked the feel of St. Olafs more than Carleton.  My kid would likely have had no issue attending St. Olafs after a Carleton rejection because their just wasn’t a strong preference for Carleton.  In fact, might have chosen St. Olafs if accepted to both— especially if good merit aid meant money left over for grad school (unusually pragmatic kid).

Also, different kids react to rejection in different ways. And you can’t predict how they will react in advance. Your kid can surprise you.  Some kids get stuck and bitter.  In that case, maybe some distance is good.  One of my kids got into 8 of 9 SLACs applied to. And immediately decided that the school that put him on the WL wasn’t all that. He didn’t even choose to stay on the WL. It was very much “if you don’t want me, I don’t want you”. He’s now a senior in college and has never expressed regret about not getting in.   I was surprised.  And some kids just let rejection roll off them.

OP— good safeties— schools your kid really likes, will almost certainly get into, and that you know you can afford— can be the hardest part of putting together a balanced college list. I would not write off a safety because it happened to be in the same small town as a reach. You have no idea how it will all play out and how your kid will feel at the end of the process. Yes it might be an issue. It also might not.

I would make sure St. Olafs wasn’t the only safety. And, if St. Olafs ended up being a serious contender in May, I would flag this as a possible issue for my kid and and have a serious discussion with them about how they feel about both schools after visits and interviews and all the information is in. Bitterness towards Carleton is a red flag. But don’t assume your kid will be bitter.  I would also get them back on campus before committing to see how they feel actually being their once the admissions process has played out. Are they really enthusiastic about admitted students day. Or are they half hearted and looking longingly at Carleton?

But no, I would not tell my kid they couldn’t apply to St. Olafs because Carleton might reject them. That’s making a lot of assumptions that might not bear out. [/quote]

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