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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Reply to "Does the social needs forum feel like it’s changed?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it is an immensely helpful resource. I have benefited greatly and I try to share my experiences because I was successful in getting services and a nonmainstream placement. Also one of my kids has intense MH issues and many people struggle with getting services in that area. What I see is a lot more arguing - things like that MH can be cured with better parenting. For example the current school refusal thread. If only that OP made her house boring her kid would be begging to go to school. Fix your parenting and you will have fixed your problem. This is not to ignore that we need to be on top of our parenting game. I also see SN parents posting but then Wanting to dig in their heels when all of the advice they received is consistent and contrary with the way they want it to be. That’s easier to tolerate though because we all know how hard the road is and sometimes a temper tantrum is what we need before we can take a deep breath and do what’s needed. Finally I see SN parents insisting that their experience is the only right one which completely ignored that so many things are governed by state law and vary by school system and even schools within the system. For example those threads that insist a kid must be evaluated within a particular number of days after the request when that’s state law specific so there is not one right answer. I do hope people keep asking for advice and that people who I know and have been through it keep sharing their wisdom. [/quote] I have not had time to weigh on the school refusal thread but as someone who was in her exact same place just recently taking away screens was probably the single most helpful piece of advice on that thread. I don't think it was a knock on her parenting. It was the same advice any therapist would have given her after charging her a $1000 initial eval fee just to get background and $200 an hour for actual advice. You should not reinforce school refusal by making it easy. That is behavioral change 101. My work is how I imagine that OP's. You don't take time off from it but I had to, every single time, which meant loss money and creating issues at work. When I took away all devices, my child would scream and break things and call me names. It was horrible. I would be crying and throwing up the whole day in private. After some point child would return to school for a period and then it would start all over again for a few days. After a few months of this child started going to school again on a longer-term basis. We didn't just make this strategy up. We paid a small fortune from our savings to the Center for Behaviorial Change and Anxiety that someone else mentioned higher up in that thread for this advice. OP got it for free. You might think the advice could have been given in a nicer way sure but it's still the right advice.[/quote] NP and it’s the right advice for some. I think they main thing most people understand on this forum is that there isn’t one behavior intervention or therapy that will work for everyone. We dealt with school refusal too and got the same advice from one counselor. Take it all away, make home boring. Long story short- it ended in our kid running away and threatening suicide. And not returning to that school again ever. He’s at a completely different school now. It’s a long time since then and things are much better but we are several therapists later, we have tried so many things and medications and life is nowhere near perfect. But we are all stable and I’m so thankful for the kind and nonjudgmental advice I’ve received here. [/quote]
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