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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s FIL’s money and he brought the issue up with his son, not with you. Stay in your lane. This literally has nothing to do with you. It is FIL’s money and [b]he want his SON’S counsel on what td do now[/b].[/quote]
I agree with everything you wrote except the bolded portion. FIL isn’t asking for his son’s counsel; [b]he’s asking his son to give his blessing to this plan so FIL doesn’t have to feel guilty about it.
[/b]
Make sure your dh does not accept responsibility for being executor of the estate if he’s not going to inherit. It’s a PITA and there’s no reason for him to do it.[/quote]

This is a really good point. And it puts your DH in a really bad place, which is unfair. But it doesn't sound like there is much to inherit anyway if they are taking out loans to support her. So maybe it's best to just walk away from an inheritance but I would absolutely cut SIL off once FIL is gone.

However, my bigger concern if I were you/DH is how much money FIL has to care for himself. [b]It's one thing to inherit nothing but its another thing for you to have to pay for his medical care because of SIL. That would be the conversation I would be having first.[/b][/quote]

THIS. If he has to borrow money for SIL, he probably has none left for himself. DH should tell him "Dad, I don't need an inheritance. We're just fine financially. But I don't have enough to support you if you run out of money, and I'm concerned about that happening." Then long awkward silence.[/quote]
+1 def the convo to have[/quote]

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