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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PS my older kid is a rule follower/ star student who literally never had an issue at school. Eats all their vegetables, never hit another kid, no electronics -- at the most we have to tell them to stop reading and go to bed.

So I have no experience when it comes to my other kid, who is sensory seeking and has difficulty with rule following. We have tried tougher consequences like timeouts and writing sentences and all that. Honestly it did not help the behavior and may have even made it worse because the self-image as "bad" created more shame. [/quote]

OP, I empathize. I have a rule follower oldest who constantly wins awards at school, great grades, star athlete, etc. and a youngest who really struggles to regulate himself and has hit at school on occasion. When he’s regulated he is so sweet, smart, and genuinely likes to make people happy, but he’s also impulsive and overly sensitive to things like taunts. All the parenting tricks that worked with my NT kid do not work with him. He’s been diagnosed with ADHD/ASD and we are exploring a tic disorder now as well.

I know there are other parents who just blow kids like mine off as being bad when he reacts poorly to situations, which honestly hurts my heart, or who probably think I’m not strict enough. But it’s just SO hard and his brain doesn’t work in a way that ultimatums, punishments, or even positive discipline work. If anything a lot of this stuff makes it worse. I recommend posting in the SNs forum because you’re not going to get helpful advice from people with NT kids. [/quote]

Thank you — yes, this is very similar to what we’re dealing with. He is so sweet and loving, and genuinely wants to please and be loved. It does break my heart that he gets so much redirection and I wonder if other parents do think we are too lax. But we’ve tried everything and it just doesn’t help, sometimes it hurts as you said.

Is your child on medication? [/quote]

Not yet, but I think we’re headed down that path. [/quote]

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