Reply to Anyone make it work (not just stay together) for the kids?

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Reply to "Anyone make it work (not just stay together) for the kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What you are describing (minus the "for the kids" part) is marriage.

Yes, I got married and I stayed married. I think the stuff in your post was made easier because we started off loving each other and can get back to that and both want to get back to that whenever we can. It's not always like it used to be but with effort and desire, yes, we have made it work.

We try to not to take each other for granted, we give each other grace, we don't keep score (except we do track how often we have sex on a app), and so far, that's worked for both of us.[/quote]

Yeah, in very long marriages there are always low points and high points--peaks and valleys and sometimes just smooth content road.

A lot of people go into marriage not knowing this^^.  I had loving parents and siblings and relatives and pre-marriage counseling that explained all of this.  Even when we were giddy and head over heels, couldn't keep our hands off of one another--I was given the 'it won't be all good times and there may be days or weeks you can't stand them (yes :) people said this)--but that's a 50-year+ overall very happy marriage.

People cut and run at the first hint of boredom with themselves or they start leaning into 'u don't do this' blah blah-and they [b]get nitpicky with one another focusing on all that is bad instead of what is good.[/b][/quote]

+1 Agree wholeheartedly, especially with the bolded. I've caught myself doing this many times, and making an effort to correct this bad habit makes all the difference. [/quote]
+2
My husband is a loving and involved father.  That was a place to start to look for good qualities and behaviors, and it's amazing how making that a habit can adjust your outlook. He still does stuff I disagree with or that makes me angry or hurt, but it matters whether that's what you're focusing on v. putting it in context with the good stuff, too.[/quote]

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