Reply to The friend you have with the most kids, what is that person like?

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[quote=Anonymous]We have several with 3 and they all have the following in common:

- Married on the young side. In one case they were high school sweethearts who married at 23. The others married by their late 20s. Most of my friends didn't meet their spouses until they were approaching or in their 30s, so these are outliers.

- Good family support. Either family nearby or very willing to travel. Stable parents with healthy relationships with their adult kids. Enormously helpful for dealing with the logistics of having 3 kids in this day and age, but also I think offer greater emotional support and encouragement.

- One partner has a flexible career or is a willing SAHP. Most of the couples I know are dual income, but with 3 kids one of them has a job where they can dip out of work for a year or two here and there, work an unconventional schedule that accommodates pick ups and drop offs and all that jazz, and also eases things like summer vacation (like I know one couple where the wife is a professor and in the summer she just takes all the kids to her parents vacation home for a month and her DH comes to visit on the weekends).

I met my spouse at 29, neither of us have good family support at all (we actually support his mom financially and my parents are very immature and disorganized, not really a source of emotional or logistical support at all), and when we married, we both worked pretty inflexible in-office jobs. We have one kid. I remember our friends with 3 all encouraged us to have more at one point and kept trying to convince us how great it is and "it gets easier with more" and so on. I read the landscape and while I'm happy for them, that's not what it would have looked like for us. We are good with one, it's more than enough and we still have fun.[/quote]

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